This post was originally published on murderiseverywhere.substack.com.
I just finished watching Agent Kim Reactivated—my first K-drama series! I watched it all the way through and love the message of ‘never underestimate middle-aged men wearing glasses’.
There was a poignant moment when the protagonist Kim seemingly sacrifices himself (and any chance to see his motherless daughter again) to save the children of his two friends… [spoiler: he survives—so do their kids] which came starkly to mind this morning when I realised this looks like I’m watching over Sophia from the other side!
But yes, everything is temporary and time is passing fast!
I’m in the middle of revising the WIP right now. And the really tough part is saying no to the shiny new ideas that have started coming at me with full force! It seems like everywhere I turn there are potential projects but I know from experience I have to lash myself to the mast and get through this.
The problem is, it’s not ‘new’ and exciting anymore. It feels like doing reps in the gym or memorising noun genders in German—which I’m also doing, despite my giddy self trying to find a way to get away from!
Sophia has no interest in legacy or edits. Her life is purely in the ‘now’ which is a good reminder, because she’s not going to be in our lives forever. Princess Peach and Hermione (our other dogs) lived till 17 and 15 and as far we can estimate, Sophia is around 7 years old. So while she’s still willing to walk, we will walk!
Which is how I got this photo of a Fish Killer tree—
It’s also known as Putat Sungei (Sungei means ‘river’) and Powder Puff Tree (because its night-blooming flowers are like pink and white powder puffs).
And yes, its bark, fruit and seeds contain natural toxins, used to ‘stun’ fish. Pounded into a pulp that’s thrown into calm or slow-moving water, the saponins they contain paralyse the fish gills, causing them to suffocate and float to the surface where they are easily gathered by hand or net. (horrible way to die, I agree).
Because only their gills are affected, the rest of the fish is safe to eat.
And yes, all parts of this tree are highly toxic to humans too, with the seeds and fruit being the most dangerous. If you had to kill someone (only on the page of course) and have access to one of these trees you’d most likely have the dried seeds ground into a powder and sprinkled or the dried fruit or bark soaked in a tea because the dose in one of the little square shaped fruits wouldn’t be enough to make your victim more than a little sick.
And yes, this body was removed from our premises yesterday—
Fortunately not a body, just the Turtle Boy’s old sundeck and ramp that got overgrown and overwhelmed by the jungle that took root on it.
It started with some ferns and a money plant. And it was nice, at first, that the red eared slider had foliage to walk around in. But it got to where the poor turtle was struggling to get onto the patio—
And though I loved my corner of wild greenery, I had to think about function.
Which is kind of at the same place my writing is at right now. Do I cut out all the beautiful, vibrant, wildly luxuriant stuff that doesn’t fit in with where the book is trying to go?
I’m still struggling but I think the answer is yes. Because not making the decision to cut is a decision too. And much as I want to see where all that energy could go, given free rein, I’ve got to watch out for Turtle Boy and the spine of my book too.
So yes, I’m cutting stuff. But I’ve got notes for the next three projects out of what I’m culling from here.
Singapore turns sixty-one years old next month, something I’ll probably write about in my next post. Yes, I’m older than my country, which may be why I feel just a little protective of it.
And one thing I’ve learned from watching all the changes in this very small island is that when you don’t have much space, you have think about what you want to dedicate it to.
So—back to the edits and revisions. I’ve been through the grind enough times to know that this is a stage I need to push through. I also know the grindstone gets worn down in the process and when I get done shaping this book (if ever) I’ll have been reshaped by it too!
See you at the end of all this!